Secondary school didn’t prepare most of us to be confident, sexually empowered adults. Anatomy and physiology, personal identity, evaluating consent, and analyzing healthy relationships are recent additions to sex education curriculum. In 2012, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, a non-profit policy advocacy organization, published the Future of Sex Education Initiative, a set of National Sexuality Education standards based on the charge that sex education is a human right.” ¹
Implementation of these standards remains negligent. Only four states have sex education programs that “affirmatively recognize different SOGIE (sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression) or affirm the dignity and worth of all people” and “only one state requires student instruction on consent.” ² Many adults lack confidence and suffer from sexual frustration as a result of this lousy sex education epidemic.
Boost your confidence and carnal knowledge by reviewing these basic sex education standards:
An empowered adult should be able to…
Demonstrate a confident self-concept and body image.
Analyze how peers, media, family, society, religion and culture influence self-concept and body image — 12th grade educational standard. ¹
Gender and sexuality are not interchangeable. They develop as we grow and learn about our bodies. I am a cisgender female — I was born into a body where I feel comfortable. Transgender folks aren’t as lucky; they don’t feel the drive to express gender in ways that meet our society’s cultural expectations. Sexual satisfaction is facilitated through a body image that reflects one’s individual gender ideal. The negative feelings that fixate on not meeting expectations impact sexuality. Trauma, neglect, oppression, micro-aggressions, and non-affirmative messages leave marks that can deny or inhibit gratification. People feel un-safe in their own bodies. Many individuals live unsatisfying sex lives because of these scars on the body and mind. Scanning your body helps to identify these bodily sensations, thoughts, and feelings. Getting to know and understand these cues builds “somatic awareness” and instills feelings of safety — empowering one to make more conscientious and fulfilling choices. ³
Identify their own sexual parts and reproductive systems outside and inside the body.
Describe male and female sexual and reproductive systems including body parts and their functions — 8th grade educational standard. ¹
Pleasure mapping is a hands-on anatomy lesson that expands an adult’s opportunities for joy. Societal expectations influence how each gender offers and receives erotic touch. With compassionate acceptance, I illustrate the homologous biology penises and vulvas share, teaching “people to play in ways that help expand possibilities in the realm of gender identity, partner choice, and the social, psychological and physical consequence of being designated either man or woman.” ⁴ Pleasure and genital mapping help one gain a better understanding of their own anatomy. This method empowers individuals with the language to describe how they like to receive pleasure.
Create an environment that facilitates a joyful human sexual response cycle.
Describe the human sexual response cycle, including the role hormones play — 12th grade educational standard. ¹
I provide the education that many adults missed out on. Then, I coach clients towards the next level of thinking: analyzing their own sexual response. How do you interpret your body’s pleasure code? Mindful Erotic Practice is a method of self-discovery where adults analyze their own bodies. Experiment with breath, sound, movement, imagination, and touch to build and expand the capacity for pleasure. Developing somatic mindfulness gives you the power to harness their sexual energy. Commit to your own Mindful Erotic Practice to learn how to create the ideal environment for experiencing more joy from your sexual response cycle.
Communicate and show respect for personal and intimate boundaries.
Demonstrate effective ways to communicate personal boundaries as they relate to intimacy and sexual behavior — 12th grade educational standard. ¹
It’s hard to ask for what you want! I teach individuals and couples how to feel comfortable communicating boundaries and discussing pleasurable touch. I know the silent torture of not being able to use your voice. I suffered with poor self-esteem and body image most of my life. I could not express my voice. Embodying holistic sexuality led me to health and empowerment. Now, I teach others the value of their voice. Through patient coaching, I help people tune into what their bodies truly want. Learn how to assert your desires and boundaries without fear.
Demonstrate a range of ways to express affection within a healthy relationship.
Describe a range of ways to express affection within a healthy relationship — 12th grade educational standard. ¹
Healthy relationship education is a must for confident, sexually empowered adults. Want to heighten passion with yourself and partner? Explore pleasure expanding possibilities like language for enhancing intimacy, communicating desire, exploring power play, or traversing new relationship rules.
References
¹ Future of Sex Education Initiative. (2012). National Sexuality Education Standards: Core Content and Skills, K-12 [a special publication of the Journal of School Health]. Retrieved from http://www.futureofsexeducation. org/documents/josh-fose-standards-web.pdf
² Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States. (2017). State Profiles Fiscal Year 2017. Retrieved from https://siecus.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/SIECUS-SP-FY17-State-Law-and-Policy-Chart.pdf
³ Jesse, C. (2018). Somatic Awareness: Professional Training for Somatic Sex Educators [e-book]. Retrieved from www.somaticsexeducator.com
⁴ Jesse, C. (2018). Genital Mapping: Professional Training for Somatic Sex Educators [e-book]. Retrieved from www.somaticsexeducator.com
Ashley Ryan, M.S. 